At dinner this week with a corporate client, she talked
about the fine line between 'overwhelm' and 'upset.' When
she's upset about something, she's churning and distracted
and unable to focus or concentrate on things she needs to
get done. When she sorts out what has her upset, overwhelm
simply melts away. An instant boost in productivity!
You know when you're upset and you sure can see it in
others. Your mind is yammering away at you endlessly,
steam's coming out of your ears, and your neck is so tense
your shoulders are up around your ears. Everything around
you becomes annoying.
Sometimes the event that triggered the upset is right
there, in your line of sight. And that sure makes it easy
to stay focused on it and deal with it - then and there.
But we so seldom know what has us upset in the moment it
occurs.
Most often, the source of our upset is vague and the drain
on our productivity drags on and on and on.
I teach my Inner Circle Program members how to identify
what motivates them to hang on to the upset. For some, it's
a great procrastination technique. They conveniently
distract themselves from tackling uninteresting or
unpleasant tasks. For others it's stubborn habit and their
ego demanding they hold their attitude to prove themselves
right.
At some point they decide they've had enough of being
"stalled" and they use the following 3 -step technique I
teach them to dissect and eliminate The Upset and get back
on track.
It's another of the 7 Essential Techniques I use with my
clients to recover their 'brain power' and increase their
productivity. You need to learn this technique! It'll help
you focus so you can identify the real issues buried behind
the upset, and get your attention back on what it takes to
Achieve Your Vision.
THE HIGH PAYOFF TECHNIQUE TO CLEAR OUT 'THE UPSET' Are you
finding no one has any attention for actually solving
things! Do you feel like a lot of finger pointing and
blaming is going on, instead of work? Do you find people on
your team have their reason why the other is creating
complications and problems? And what about you? Let's
start using the technique with you.
1 - Identify the Trigger of the Upset
All that churn and emotion overlays some breakdown that
occurred. The most frequent breakdowns are due to
assumptions, expectations and communication. You made some
assumption that actual events didn't live up to. Or you
were holding expectations that others didn't fulfill. And
the award winning biggest trigger is that communication
broke down. Either you thought it and didn't say it. Or you
thought it and said it poorly. Or you said it but it wasn't
understood. Or someone else thought it and didn't say
it.... I could go on, but you get the idea.
Once you identify which of the breakdowns occurred you're
ready for Step 2.
2 - Clear Up Your Part
The root of an Upset may be one or more of the breakdowns.
To really flush that upset out and be done with it for
good, you need to identify your own role in it.
Was there some assumption you were carrying that actually
had nothing to do with this particular situation? If so,
how will you acknowledge that to yourself, and to the other
people involved to get it out of the mix? How about a phone
call, a note, or a face to face meeting to get the right
assumptions agreed to so you can create a fresh start.
Were you holding expectations that others didn't even know
they were 'supposed to' meet? Identify them and get them
off the table so you can get your attention back on the
true goals surrounding the event.
What communication did you not share effectively? Now is
the time to reword it, ask for a fresh opportunity to say
it differently and more productively, and get everyone back
on track.
3 - Clean Up the Relationship
Upsets almost always take place in situations between
people. With the language for those potential triggers, it
can be very easy to ask another person, or an entire team,
to dissect what may be derailing an interaction or work
effort. In the same way that you can ask yourself which of
those 3 triggers has taken you off track, you can ask
others if there might have been an unstated expectation or
assumption, or missed communication.
Posing the question in that fashion allows for a very
neutral and objective conversation. It creates a
collaboration between you and the others involved that
becomes analytical rather than emotional. In fact it makes
it very easy for everyone to say "Oh! Sorry about that! How
can we sort that out and restart this?"
Clear out the upsets and watch how everyone recovers their
intellectual attention for taking care of business!
----------------------------------------------------
© 2008 Linda Feinholz Management expert, consultant, and
coach Linda Feinholz is "Your High Payoff Catalyst" If
you're ready to focus on your High Payoff activities, boost
your professional and personal results and have more fun,
get her FREE audio mini-course "7 Quick & Simple Steps to
Increase Your Focus, Ease Your Effort & Accelerate Your
Results" and the free weekly newsletter The Spark! Visit
http://www.YourHighPayoffCatalyst.com
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