How to punish assistants for catastrophic mistakes
You finally did it. You decided to hire an assistant, or a
virtual assistant, or even a full-on employee, with payroll
and everything. Yahooey! You've hit the big time now.
You're business is sure to take off.
And then your new assistant sends you an email, or leaves a
voicemail, or comes to your office. "Uh... I made a bit of
a mistake. I hope it's not too bad."
But it is. It's a big mistake. And it's actually going to
cost you some money, and time, and it needs to be cleaned
up.
After you've taken your ten deep breaths, or thrown your
tea mug across the room, or had a private tantrum with your
significant other (not mention scaring the heck out of the
cats and the children, who either ran under the couch, or
are now crying inconsolably).... what do you do?
Do you make them pay for the mistake? Do you give them a
verbal tongue lashing, so they really get how bad it is? Do
you dock their pay? What happens?
This is a break-through moment... only if nothing happens.
Nothing happens? No punishment? Your assistant can just
wreak havoc with no consequences? How can that possibly be
right?
Well, there are consequences, but not imposed by you. Let
me explain. You see, employees of small companies really
care about the well-being of the company, and their bosses.
They do.
We've been inundated by stories of employee sabotage and
apathy, but those are in global corporations, where the
employee doesn't feel any sense of connection to the whole.
If you hire someone to work with you as a small business,
they are going to care.
They won't care as much as you do, but that's okay. A
parent always cares more about their children than the
children's playmates, or even than siblings, because of
that deep bond of giving birth.
But, they do care, and they care deeply. If they make a
mistake, chances are they already feel horrible about it.
And here's the critical point:
If you act harshly, or punitively, you'll destroy 90+% of
the value of having an employee. The 90% of having someone
you trust, who can act independently, make decisions with
confidence, and trouble-shoot without needing your input at
every turn.
Where does success come from? Mistakes. Lots and lots of
mistakes. The best leaders I've always heard from have said
things like "Fail early and often." "Never trust an
entrepreneur who doesn't have a failure in their past."
Mistakes are sign of creativity. A willingness to be bold,
to try something out, to test the waters and see what
happens.
The biggest complaint I've heard from business owners who
have employees is that "it's like running a kindergarten! I
have to babysit them." But, do those business owners give
their employees leeway to make creative mistakes?
But isn't that shielding them? People who care aren't
shielded from anything. The worst punishment is already
happening- in their heart. They are awake at night worrying
about how they messed up. They feel bad, and they want to
do better. This natural tendency in people who care will
keep them from being careless with your business.
Your job is twofold: to hire people who care, and then to
make sure that their caring doesn't paralyze their
creativity.
Veiling mistakes is a path to success. The spiritual
teaching that my Sufi guide gave to me is to not point out
the faults of others. The wisdom that I've seen in this is
that when someone is sincere, pointing out the fault can
leave them paralyzed with shame. And when someone isn't
sincere, pointing out the fault usually results in
defensiveness, and blame coming back at you.
And besides, who says I'm right anyway? What if there's a
larger wisdom, or some aspect that I haven't seen? Maybe
it's not a mistake at all...
So do you do nothing then? This is not to say that mistakes
are never discussed. If someone, like your assistant, comes
asking to learn about a mistake, then it is important to
share experience and insight with them. But not by pointing
out the fault and hammering it in. Instead, by finding the
strengths, and demonstrating what is wanted.
Not always an easy or straightforward task, but let me
share some of the gems I've learned.
Keys to Avoiding Crime and Punishment.
* Be slow to hire, and long to train.
Just because you need the help, like, NOW, don't grab just
anyone and throw them into the position. It's a big step
and needs time, care and attention. For starters, have a
drawn-out interview process, that involves one or two days
of working along with you, and not just Q&A, so you can see
the chemistry.
Then, when you do hire them, hire on a probationary basis,
so that you have one, two, or even three months so you can
get to know each other before considering it a lock-down
commitment.
Finally, give them that time to get up to speed. Realize
that you're going to be giving a fair amount of time to
training and communication, and it will at first seem as if
you are less efficient and productive after hiring someone.
You will be. It's an important step in building the
relationship.
* It's not "if," it's "when."
As my motorcycle driving instructor told me, "It's not if
you go down, it's when you go down." Your assistant is
going to make a mistake, and it'll be a doozy, or at least
seem like one. Prepare yourself for it now, so it won't
surprise you.
And, start out by asking this question when they first
start with you: "When the big mistake happens, how should
we handle it? How do you react when you make a mistake?" By
having a conversation about it before the event, it lays
the ground for an easier discussion when it does happen,
and gives guidelines to fall back on, instead of your
emotional reactions.
* Don't hide your emotions.
You don't have to appear to be superhuman, "Ha ha ha, I
don't care if the world falls down around me. Just keep
being creative! Good work! Carry on!" That's crazy- it's
natural for you to be upset, as it's natural for your
assistant to be upset as well.
Share your upset with them, but be honest about your
emotions, keeping it personal to you. This is harder to do
than you think, and if you plan on having employees, I
highly recommend learning how to communicate without blame
or guilt. Personally I've found the book Nonviolent
Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg, to be amazing.
Reading it, and working with an effective NVC facilitator
will pay itself back a thousand-fold as your business grows.
And, if your upset is a big one, get outside help. The
first time I ever had an assistant, a few years back, was a
perfect time for emotional and spiritual healing. I was
able to find relief and compassion for those parts of
myself that want to blame, punish and attack myself and
others when mistakes happen, and to break the reactive
patterns.
Hiring an assistant is a necessary act for any business
that wishes to attain success, because you can't do
everything yourself. But, the only way to get the most out
of this frightening step is to hire someone who cares, and
then allow them to make creative mistakes even if they cost
you. You may have to endure some bumps, but I promise you
won't end up running a kindergarten.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your
Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your
Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line.
He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the
globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get
three free chapters of the book online:
http://www.heartofbusiness.com
