Which gender makes the best boss? It's a frequently asked
question in the workplace. Is it men or women who are
superior as boss-material? MSN Career Builder recently
featured an article espousing the fact that men are better
bosses. The writer's opinion and research notwithstanding,
I don't actually think this is an "either-or" kind of
question. It's really a question of what qualities make
someone a successful boss, and even further how do we
quantify success?
There are clearly differences between men and women. How
they function, and how they show up through their work is
simply not always the same. There are both pluses and
minuses on either side. Some men are better bosses than
some women, and some women are better bosses than some men.
To explore this fully, we must understand how the
attributes that either gender brings to a management
position plot on the workplace management map.
Women are raised to be nurturing, caring and communicative.
Men are not necessarily taught to exhibit those same
qualities and are certainly not rewarded for them growing
up. Often, when communicating with male executives, I hear
gruffly expressed comments like, "I don't like this warm,
fuzzy stuff", and yet women in those same positions seem to
be able to accomplish it naturally, without any effort at
all. There are pros and cons to exhibiting these
qualities. We live in a business landscape where a
leader's show of emotions is likely to affect the way their
people view their effectiveness. Often, emotional
awareness is associated with weakness and ineffectiveness.
Since women seem to be wired to express their emotions and
men to repress theirs, it's a no-brainer that many people
see men as more effective leaders than women.
Often the nurturing, caring side of women makes it
difficult for them to make tough decisions or have
difficult conversations. They don't want to 'hurt people'
and so they soften their 'hard conversations' in order to
avoid inflicting emotional pain. Often, this results in
not getting the true meaning of their thoughts across. Men
don't put such a high priority on taking care with
feelings, and while they may not like conflict or
confrontation, they don't worry about hurting others. So
when they have the same sort of conversations, their
attitude and language ends up being more straightforward
and direct. The flip side of the coin is that men, in
their lack of concern about feelings, simply state exactly
what they think without in-depth discussion or exploration,
often leaving the individual they've spoken to with all
sorts of unresolved issues.
For men in management positions, a lack of awareness
regarding the other person's feelings may mean that they
miss the clues and cues that show up during communication
with employees. People simply don't know how much you care
until you show them. It's possible to build loyalty
without the nurturing piece, but your staff may always
question how much you actually care about them.
In a society where social conditioning assigns specific
attributes to successful business management, many women
feel like they need to act like a man to work successfully
in a man's world. Since acting as someone that you are
not, and cannot ever be, will undoubtedly keep women from
showing up as their true selves, their business success is
indisputably obstructed. Being genuine and sincere in your
leadership is the foundation of business success.
Men see themselves as leaders. They are taught from a
young age to think, act and be the world's leaders.
Inevitably, they grow up to see themselves as leaders. So
when they are placed in a leadership role it is 'more
natural for them' than it is for women. This doesn't
necessarily mean they are more successfully; simply that
they don't work as hard at it as women have to.
The truth is that there are more men in leadership roles
today than there are women. The gap is closing slowly, but
it's still there. Since we are most familiar with men as
leaders, it's easy for us to think that men are better
leaders - certainly there are more good male leaders than
good female leaders... However, it's equally true that
there are more bad male leaders than bad female leaders.
The simple fact is that there are simple more male leaders
- good and bad. This is not proof that either gender is a
better leader.
Being a good manager or boss means you set strong values
for your business and live by them yourself. It means that
you have respect for the people you manage, guide them
without micro-managing them, build strong relationships,
create a team atmosphere, and appropriately reward your
people for a job is done well. So, the question isn't
whether one gender is better boss-material than the other,
but rather the question is what makes a successful leader,
and manager.
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Linda Finkle, CEO of Incedo Group, works closely with
leaders and management to create sustainable productivity
and organizational strength. She holds a Master Certified
Coach designation through the International Coaching
Federation. For more information on Linda and Incedo Group,
please go to http://www.MakeSomeDamnMistakes.com
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