In Parts 1 and 2 we explored six communication styles and
the relative advantages and disadvantages of each:
Tells, Sells, Tests, Consults, Joins and Delegates
So how does all this relate to coaching and where would we
place coaching on the spectrum. Some argue that coaching is
all about empowering others and so must sit 'right of
centre' towards delegation. However, we can also see that
perhaps coaching doesn't belong to this range of
alternatives at all as it almost represents a philosophy of
communication rather than a style. In many ways coaching is
a means of adopting the advantages of each of the other
styles whilst minimizing the disadvantages.
Good coaches don't fear loss of control as they know that
the people they coach will have formulated their plans and
ideas in their presence. Thus the coach has the ability to
warn against a certain course of action if it is against
the rules or likely to cause problems. Also, we've seen
that coaching is an effective way for managers to build
trust in their teams and so they can resort to Tell when
the situation demands it without worrying about the team
being uncooperative or becoming disillusioned.
So far we have considered the merits of various
communication styles in a general context. What about when
we need to communicate with another to help them develop?
It seems that Tell is dominant here and perhaps this is
because most of us were conditioned to learn in this way at
school. We would sit in rows of desks while the teacher
would tell us what we needed to do and how to do it and
lessons would consist of being told what we needed to know.
But this doesn't always work. Try explaining to someone how
to do up a tie or lace a training shoe without showing them
- it's almost impossible. To do so requires us firstly to
understand exactly the process that needs to be done and
then to find the language to convey that process to another
person in a way they can understand. The modern world of
work is changing so fast that we can no longer be certain
that the ways and methods we used to become successful will
be valid for the next generation. Solving today's problems
with yesterday's solutions is a big risk. Furthermore,
people don't retain a great deal of learning when they have
only ever been told what to do. How many managers have you
heard yelling, "If I've told you once, I've told you a
thousand times!", or "How many times do I have to tell you?"
Coaching presents a way of dealing with these problems as
it is concerned with drawing our rather than putting in and
thus enables people to learn in their own way and at their
own speed. In this way we get learning and development that
sticks in the same way as learning to swim or to ride a
bicycle.
There's an old Chinese proverb which, roughly translated,
states:
"Tell me and I forget, show me and I remember, involve me
and I understand"
Coaching is the best way to involve people in their own
learning.
----------------------------------------------------
Matt Somers is a coaching practitioner of many years'
experience. He works with a host of clients in North East
England where his firm is based and throughout the UK and
Europe. Matt understands that people are working with their
true potential locked away. He shows how coaching provides
a simple yet elegant key to this lock. His popular
mini-guide "Coaching for an Easier Life" is available FREE
at http://www.mattsomers.com
No comments:
Post a Comment