Simulations (especially playful ones) are great ways to
develop a lot of experience with irresistible forces. What
could be better than to have fun, meaningful places to test
your mettle? Coaching and teaching children provide
excellent opportunities of this sort.
Prior to having a paid job, most people learn very little
about the realities of working for and with others. On the
job, most initially assume that the problem they should
focus on is simply how to get power.
They often think that with power you can order others to do
the right thing, and great results will occur. Many people
never outgrow this mistaken perspective, and so they are
doomed to having rebellious people around them (whether
children, spouses, or coworkers), who resent their attempt
to dominate situations.
To avoid this perspective's pitfall, you can quickly learn
that progress stems from thoughtful examples, cooperation,
and mutual assistance when you work with children. You will
find this experience works particularly well with those who
are not your own so that you have some emotional distance.
Children who are on a sports team, for example (whether
they are girls or boys), usually come out for the fun of
it. If you don't believe it, ask each child at the start of
the season.
But the adults are usually slow to catch on. Adults think
about skills and winning. It is true that winning can be
more fun than losing. But how can you make the entire
experience fun for everyone even when you are not winning?
You'll soon find that letting the children play in ways
they want to is a lot more fun for them than anything else.
For example, let them play the positions they like in team
sports.
You simply have to find lots of ways for them to play that
both can be fun and develop their effectiveness. That
solution means they will have a better chance of enjoying
the experience of increased competence as well.
But be sure not to sacrifice the fun. That's the core. Even
when they don't learn very much, give them as much play
time as you can. You will then have served them well.
The lessons of this experience can carry over easily into
being a parent. Children don't usually just decide to have
a bad relationship with their parents. The children
usually degrade the relationship as a way to get the
parents' attention.
The children know what the parents' hot buttons are, and
how to push them. If supportive attention is not
forthcoming from the parents, then worse behavior will
follow.
Being children, they would also like to have fun at home as
well as on the sports field. Play with them. When you are
in the car, be silent until they speak. That's a great way
to find out what's on their minds.
You'll be glad you did. Everyone can have fun!
Now move on to thinking about the workplace. Believe it or
not, adults have many of the same perspectives as children
do. They want to have fun, too.
They want to have a supportive relationship with the others
in the organization. And they want to have meaning in their
lives, as you do in yours.
To be an effective leader in this environment, you need
only remember the words of retired general Norman
Schwartzkopf, "Be the leader you would like to have."
Follow that advice and you can be more successful in your
role as an organizational person, as well as a parent,
coach, or a volunteer.
Copyright 2008 Donald W. Mitchell, All Rights Reserved
----------------------------------------------------
Donald Mitchell is chairman of Mitchell and Company, a
strategy and financial consulting firm in Weston, MA. He is
coauthor of seven books including Adventures of an
Optimist, The Irresistible Growth Enterprise, and The
Ultimate Competitive Advantage. You can find free tips for
accomplishing 20 times more by registering at:
====> http://www.2000percentsolution.com .
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