Everyone goes through personal issues of some sort during
their lives. Let's face it, when major family/personal
issues arise, your time and energy is going to be focused
on resolving these difficulties.
You're not a machine, you're human, so accept the realities
as they are and don't bristle against them. Beating
yourself up will accomplish nothing except low self-esteem
something that will only add to already difficult
circumstances. Accept the fact that you won't be at your
best in the office during this time. Instead of taking the
approach to "keep a stiff upper lip", try sharing with
people around you. Let them in on the personal issues
you're experiencing. Give them an understanding that your
situation will require your absence from the office or will
take up a lot of your time. Of course there's no need to
share specifics unless you want to. Sometimes when you
let others know the circumstances, it negates gossip and
sets your co-workers' expectations properly. It also
allows them to be more understanding and provide a way to
reach out and offer help.
Some people prefer to "work through" a crisis and others
may benefit from taking some time off or taking an
unscheduled vacation. Depending on your circumstances, you
may want to consider taking a sabbatical. Often we think
we are handling things jut fine, but we really aren't.
Many years ago I was dealing with an issue that involved
one of my children. It was a difficult and very
challenging time for me and the rest of my family. A few
close friends knew, but I felt that I couldn't or shouldn't
let others know, and besides, I was handling it, right?
Then one day, a client told me she thought I wasn't
interested in her as a client anymore. When I asked why,
she confided that I seemed distracted when we met and that
I didn't send her emails or respond to her as I had in the
past. I realized that while I thought I had myself under
control, I didn't. I would have benefited from some time
off, so I could focus on what needed handling without
having to pretend' everything was all right while I was at
work.
During this difficult time, size up your work load and
priorities. Focus on what must be done and let everything
else go. Make a point of reminding yourself that you can't
do it all and only the things that absolutely must be done
will get attention.
Be kind to yourself, ask for help from others and accept it
graciously. For some reason, most people are hesitant or
embarrassed about asking for help. It is during these
times that we need others the most, so don't deprive
yourself during these difficult times. And remember to
take time for yourself. Going through a trying time will
wear on you emotionally and physically, so take time to go
to the gym, play golf, read a book or take a long, relaxing
bath.
If you take care of yourself, you are better able to take
of the personal issues in your life. Learn to embrace all
facets of life. The cycles of personal problems and
personal successes will flow and ebb and you will need to
learn to flow along with them. Being kind to yourself is
the first step.
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Linda Finkle is a leading expert on organizational
communication strategies and human potential development.
As CEO of her executive coaching firm, INCEDO GROUP, Linda
has helped countless leaders build internal communication
and conflict resolution strategies. She brings about
changes in attitude and leadership style that yield
dramatic results. Company profitability is an inevitable
side effect. Learn more at => http://www.IncedoGroup.com
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