Halloween is a time when many adults (oh yes, and kids!)
dress up in costumes and masks to disguise their identity
on October 31 in celebration of this holiday. But, donning
masks is not just limited to Halloween.
TEAM MASKS
When I first begin work with a team, I often find that many
team members don "masks" that they hide behind in their
communications and interactions with their team members.
In other words, they are often afraid to be "real" with
their colleagues - they are afraid to speak their true
thoughts/feelings because it might create conflict, or
because their organizational culture supports "sugar
coating the truth" instead. Or, sometimes team members
don't feel that they can safely speak these truths for
other reasons, so they hide behind a mask of not speaking
up at all, which seems less risky to them. I typically
find that this hiding comes from teams who do not currently
have any written team agreements about how they will
communicate and interact with each other, and sometimes I
also work with teams who have "unwritten agreements" where
they have never talked about it but have basically agreed
to never speak about issues that could cause conflict.
REAL/ROBUST TEAM DIALOGUE: SEE BEHIND THE MASKS
By comparison, when I work with teams who have created
explicit agreements with each other regarding how their
team will interact and communicate with each other, those
team members are much more likely to be REAL with their
colleagues - they speak their true thoughts and feelings,
and know that their voices will be heard, because the team
has created agreements that support a "safe space" for
those diverse opinions and thoughts to be
discussed/explored. Whether you refer to these types of
communications as "robust dialogue," "speaking about the
elephants in the room" or something else, we're talking
about the same thing -- speaking up about issues or
concerns that are impacting the team.
MOST SUSTAINABLE AND HIGH-PERFORMING TEAMS
From a team dynamics perspective, this place of being
"real" and proactively encouraging discussions regarding
issues may be perceived as conflict - but is actually the
healthiest place for a team. Why? Because a team that has
enough trust, respect, camaraderie and the ability to
navigate conflict is a team that will get results and will
also be sustainable, because they have a solid foundation
to do so. By contrast, teams who are not able to have
these types of discussions often are not sustainable. They
are simply not able to rise to that "higher level" to yield
the results that they could, because their performance is
hindered by the limited dynamics they have become mired in;
thus, they are not performing at their optimal level.
Think about your personal life. Are the more meaningful
and effective relationships that you have the ones where
you keep the discussion at a high level and don't talk
about things that are truly important to you? Or, are the
more meaningful relationships that you have the ones where
you talk about very important aspects of your life
(including your deepest feelings) and really challenge each
other to be better people? In my life, I appreciate and
encourage people to challenge me so that I can learn more
about myself and continue growing to be the best person I
can be in this lifetime.
The same is true with teams. The more your team challenges
each other to learn and grow and bring up whatever is on
their mind, the more successful they will be and the longer
they will be able to maintain success.
Here are some questions and tips for you/ your team to
explore:
1. What does your team typically experience in the
categories above - "Masks" or "Real/Robust Dialogue"?
Think back to your three most recent team meetings. Were
team members holding back, or "sugar coating" their words?
Or, were they speaking about what was really on their
minds? And, if team members were speaking their minds, how
was the rest of the team responding - were team members
encouraging more dialogue and trying to get a better
understanding of the diverse opinions, or were they trying
to shut down the discussion?
2. If your team typically lives in the "Masks" world, what
do they need to be able to move into "Real/Robust Dialogue"
more often? If your team does not already have team
agreements for their interactions and how they will handle
conflict, this is the place to start. Creating team
agreements should be a carefully facilitated discussion
that includes all of the aspects above plus much more, so
that the team creates as much openness among team members
as possible and has clear parameters for moving forward
(including accountability to their agreements).
If your team already has team agreements and is still
living in "Masks," then your team's agreements need to be
updated to specifically incorporate how they will handle
issues of potential conflict. Your team may also need some
help with conflict resolution skill building and practice,
so be sure to look at:
- Do they know HOW to work through conflicts and are just
not doing it? OR
- Do they need to learn the skills to work through
conflict? (honestly, this is what I see more often than
not, which is why we often teach teams how to work through
issues)
3. How is your team using its agreements? Once your team
creates its agreements, there are many ways to integrate
this into daily work life. For example, I am working with
a team in Rancho Cordova, CA who printed out a poster size
version of their team agreements and each team member
signed the agreements as their commitment, and then the
entire poster was framed and mounted in their workspace as
a reminder of their commitments to each other! Another
team I am working with in Burlingame, CA reads their team
agreements prior to every meeting, and when a team member
breaks an agreement, pays a monetary fine. There are many
more examples of how different teams work with their
agreements, but the important thing is that the agreements
are
(a) Created and "owned" by the team, and
(b) Reviewed regularly, and
(c) Monitored/supported by team members who speak up when
they see an agreement being broken.
4. What obstacles are preventing your team from
implementing these tips above? It is important to have
candid conversations with your team about the specific
things that are getting in the way of your team being more
effective in their communications and interactions. By
taking the time to explore these ideas with your team NOW,
your team is much more likely to be more effective now and
in the future!
----------------------------------------------------
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