Are You Too Nice?

Are You Too Nice?
Most women and a lot of men were brought up to be nice. We
are taught by society not to show anger and often to
subjugate our needs to everyone else’s. On top of
that, women often blame themselves when things are not
right, and take things personally.

As a business owner, this behavior does not serve you, and
in fact it limits you.

Here are a few truths to consider – perhaps as daily
affirmations:
- When a prospect says ‘no’, they are saying no
to the product, not to me
- When a customer speaks to me in anger, they are angry at
the situation, not at me – they need my help
- When a vendor does not give me the service they promised,
it is ok to be angry and I need to get reparations
- It is helpful to my employees to give them clear
direction and hold them accountable
- It is not acceptable for clients to abuse me
- Asking for the sale does not make me pushy, it makes me a
savvy business person
- It is ok to make mo’ney – I can do a lot of
good with it

When clients or prospective clients are not interested in
your product, or if they are unhappy, it is not because
they don’t like you. Women have a strong desire to
be liked by everyone and it is just not necessary in order
to succeed in business. You can be well-liked by everyone
and your business fail miserably because you are consumed
with trying to make sure everyone is happy instead of doing
business.

If you allow your true personality to come through, a lot
of people will like you, but not everyone, and that’s
ok. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything
specific – just be yourself and the right people will
be attracted to doing business with you. Being respected
is much more important in business – assuming you are
in your business to make mo’ney. In fact, the more
outgoing, independent and outrageous you are, the more you
will be noticed and the more business opportunities will
present themselves.

Many people do not have good conflict resolution skills.
If you are able to remove yourself personally from a
negative situation and resolve the problem, you will be a
hero and highly respected. If, on the other hand, you
become emotional (hurt, angry, explosive, withdrawn) you
are not helping anyone!

Sometimes you will be cheated or otherwise taken advantage
of. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who
do not back up their claims. It is ok to be angry! It is
also ok to express your anger. You can say, for example,
“I am angry about this. You promised ABC and did not
deliver it. Here is what I want you to do about
it…”

If you have employees, then you are a boss – act like
one! Your employees want to know what is expected of them.
Some need more direction and management than others and
they all need appreciation. However, not everyone will be
the right employee for you, and if you have any problems,
you need to handle them – soon. You may even need to
fire someone, which does not feel nice, but if the employee
is not doing well, you are not doing them any favors
keeping them around, and you may be sabotaging your entire
operation.

Strong boundaries in business are just as important as
strong boundaries in your personal life. To be happy at
work, be true to yourself. If you do not want clients
calling you on your cell, don’t put the number on
your business card. If you don’t want to work
nights, then don’t! If you are not true to yourself,
you will resent your work and maybe even your clients.

You can be nice, but when being too nice damages your
potential and your happiness, you need to reevaluate and
make changes. Your happiness is just as important as
others’!

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Audrey Burton, Small Business Coach, is “The
Tigress”. Get her FREE Special Report,
“Closing the Sale is Not Complicated!” and her
FREE monthly email newsletter at
http://www.TigressCoaching.com .