Success in negotiating is a lot like becoming proficient in
martial arts. You must learn to use of timing, power and
leverage to your advantage. In bargaining contests,
Americans tend not to do very well when compared to people
in other countries around the world. There are some real
black belts out there and here are some common mistakes
that often keep us from getting the best deals:
MISTAKE #1: Being Afraid To Bargain: If a martial artist
enters the ring and is the least bit afraid of his or her
opponent the contest has already been decided in the other
person's favor. Some of us are a bit timid when it comes to
haggling because we're afraid to be rejected. In reality,
there is no rejection in negotiating. If you ask for a
discount on your laundry from a dry cleaner that you
patronize on a regular basis and the owner says, "no" what
have you lost? Nothing! However, the power to choose is now
in your hands. You have the choice of continuing to pay
full price or take your business elsewhere. It's totally in
your control.
MISTAKE #2: Forgetting That Everything Is Negotiable:
Master martial artists take every opportunity to practice
whether in a tournament or just by themselves. Master
bargainers are constantly aware that anything is negotiable
under the right circumstances. I have gotten discounts on
gasoline for my car, substantially reduced peoples' IRS tax
bills and even obtained deals on medical care. You would be
surprised to find what others will do to earn your business
as long as you keep in mind that there must be a benefit to
them of doing business with you.
MISTAKE #3: Believing It's Not Worth Haggling Over Small
Items: Martial artists do not become black belts overnight
but rather one day at a time. Many Americans only think
about negotiating when it comes to big-ticket purchases
like cars and houses. The real savings come when you get
discounts on things you buy more frequently. For example,
if you and your spouse eat out at nice restaurants once a
week costing eighty dollars and you negotiate a thirty
percent discount that saves over $1,200 a year. I generally
only pay half price for meals saving even more. I get
discounts on trees and plants at my local nursery, parking
at the airport, food at the nearby Chinese restaurant and
dozens of other establishments who value my business.
MISTAKE #4: Thinking About Ourselves First: There's an
ancient Chinese saying, "To defeat an opponent you must
first think like an opponent." Many people only consider
the benefits they'll get out of a negotiation. Master
bargainers are always thinking about what's in it for the
other person to accept a deal, not what's in it for
themselves. They know that if there isn't a clear benefit
to the other party they will never seriously consider an
offer. Finding ways to help people solve their problems
will make it easier for them to give you what you want.
Most businesses make their money on repeat business because
this eliminates their marketing costs. If you are a regular
customer you deserve a discount for saving them money.
MISTAKE #5: Making The First Offer: Martial artists try
not to make the first move when sparring because it
immediately reveals their speed and timing to their
opponent. Try not to make the first offer anytime you
bargain because it limits your options. Even if the price
is clearly marked, you can always ask, "Would you take less
to sell this today?" If you are a buyer and you make the
first offer it sets the lower limit because now you can
only raise your price. If you are a seller and you name a
price you can only go down from there.
MISTAKE #6: Being Too Nice: If a martial artist has to
make the first move he is likely to be pretty aggressive in
hopes of scoring a few early points. If you must make the
first offer, make it a low one if you're buying and high if
you're selling for the reason stated above. It sets the
lower or upper limit and reduces your options. Being
aggressive with your first offer leaves room for
negotiating. Don't worry about being nice as the other
party can always say, "no." You never want the other party
to agree to your first offer because that leads to the next
mistake.
MISTAKE #7: Being Too Eager: A martial artist always
starts a contest by testing his opponent. Take your time
when bargaining. In America "time is money" but in other
countries it is used for building relationships. There is
one word that a black belt negotiator never wants to hear
early in the bargaining process - "okay." This means that
you paid too much or asked too low a price because you got
impatient. Take your time and don't put yourself under any
undue pressure. When I was in Japan negotiating a
television sponsorship contract, my hosts and I spent two
weeks just eating sushi, drinking sake and singing karaoke
(badly) but not one word was mentioned about the reason for
my visit. It wasn't until we had built a mutual level of
trust that the talks began.
MISTAKE #8: Not Doing Your Homework: Most martial arts
tournaments are won or lost before they ever begin and it's
the same with negotiating. Just like a fighter would never
step into the ring without finding out everything he can
about his opponent, you should too. If you're buying a car,
search the web to find the dealer's invoice, when the new
models will be coming in and if there are any bonuses or
cut-rate financing available to you. No matter what you are
buying or selling you can find out valuable information
such as: what's the current demand, the profit margin, and
other priceless data.
MISTAKE #9: Not Playing To Win: Martial artists never
enter the ring hoping for a tie. Everyone has heard that in
negotiating you want to develop "win-win" solutions but, in
reality, nobody believes in tying. You don't want your
opponent to get the better end of the bargain and neither
do they. This is not to say that you try to take advantage
but you should always try to get the best deal you can and
assume that the other party will do likewise. You don't
need to be concerned about fairness because if they agree
to your offer they must feel it benefits them as well.
MISTAKE #10: Missing Opportunities To Negotiate: Every time
you pull out your wallet to pay for a purchase you should
ask yourself, "Is this a chance to practice my bargaining
skills?" This is not to say that you absolutely must
bargain on everything but every transaction adds up and the
more you bargain the better you become. Black belts
practice every day and so should you. Start by going to
garage sales and then moving up to flea markets where the
sellers are generally more experienced. After your skill
and confidence have grown then go to antique and
collectible stores where prices are generally not set in
stone. Eventually, you'll be ready for the ultimate test -
haggling over large appliances, cars and houses. By
negotiating more often you not only put more money in your
pocket but also increase your negotiating skill. You'll
also find that bargaining can be a fun and profitable way
to spend a couple of hours.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Michael Soon Lee, MBA, is the author of
the new book "Black Belt Negotiating" (AMACOM Books, 2007),
a world class negotiator and martial artist. He has
bargained on everything from major real estate purchases to
discounts on gas for his car. Michael shows people how to
use martial arts secrets to gain leverage in any bargaining
situation. You can assess your negotiating prowess on his
website at http://www.SeminarsUnlimited.com and his phone
number is: (800) 417-7325.
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