Don't ask for feedback if you don't want it

I sat in on a client meeting one day, and saw the leader
make a classic communication mistake that never fails to
cause resentment.

Tom had decided on a course of action for the group to
take. I don't know how much research he had done, or
whether he had received input from others, and he didn't
say. That, however, wasn't his mistake. Managers reach
decisions in various ways, and Tom had clearly done so in
his way. His mistake lay in the way he announced his
decision.

His exact words were, "I've decided this is how we're going
to move ahead --- unless anyone has any objections." As he
said this, he glanced around the table, and his facial
expression clearly said that objections would not be
welcome or even seriously considered. As an observer, I
could tell that at least two of the attendees had something
to say, but didn't speak up.

In any conflict between words and body language, the body
language always wins, and Tom's people responded
accordingly by withholding their input. They also kept
their feelings to themselves, but I have no doubt they
resented Tom's statement.

So what could he have done instead? Well, depending on
whether or not he was open to input from his team on the
subject, he had two choices.

1. Input welcome

Having made the decision, he might ask the team for some
ideas on how to deal with the consequences of the actions.
In that case, he might say, "I've decided this is how we'll
be moving ahead. I'm sure there will be some negative
response from the field managers --- does anyone have any
ideas on how to handle them?" Or, "I've decided this is how
we'll be moving ahead. If anyone has any thoughts on how to
communicate this to the front line people, I'd welcome them
either now or after our meeting."

2. Input not welcome

If he has already given the matter all the consideration he
feels appropriate and doesn't want comments on his
decision, he might say, "I've considered this from all
angles, and I've decided this is the way we'll be moving
ahead. Let's talk about how we'll implement the process."

While the second way may not be popular among team members,
at least it doesn't pay lip service to collaboration, while
at the same time slamming the door in the face of anyone
wanting to speak up.

Clear, genuine communication can help make even unwelcome
news acceptable, and builds confidence in --- and respect
for --- the leader who knows how to use it.

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Helen Wilkie is a professional speaker and author,
specializing in workplace communication. Subscribe to her
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