The email comes, or the phone rings, and there's an
absolute flood pouring right at you. "Hey, you didn't do
what you said you would do. This didn't work as advertised.
You goofed!"
Yup, a complaint. Ahhh! A complaint?! But you poured your
heart and soul into it, how could they complain?
Then you take a breath, and you read what they're asking
for, and you realize... they were right. You DID make a
mistake. Things are goofed up, perhaps badly.
Time to hang up your hat and go work in a cafe?
Well, no, not really. But it can sure feel that way. Why is
it that when you get a complaint it always stirs you up?
I could say it's a gift from Source (and it is) but let's
not go there immediately. Before you try to figure it out,
take a moment, or two, or an hour, or even half a day, for
yourself.
That's right, you don't have to respond immediately.
Not every complaint is going to shake you, but when they do
resist the urge to respond immediately. Instead, take time
for yourself to feel upset, to connect with your heart, and
to realize that perhaps it's not as bad as you might think.
Once you catch up to your heart, then it's time to respond.
Let's take a look, shall we?
We apologize for any inconvenience...
This is exactly what you -don't- want to say.
Unfortunately, there's been 'corporate' language creeping
into every day speech. Plus, as a small business owner, you
don't necessarily see what other small business owners do
in the dark of their email inboxes, so you don't have other
examples.
You and I are only used to seeing the kind of
emails/letters/phone calls that the big boys send out to
their millions of customers.
This is not what you want to emulate. Not.
The three most important things in an apology response.
When someone complains, they are actually giving you an
incredible testimonial. You see, trust and hope have been
broken so often in our culture, that many people just take
average or below-average as 'normal.'
For instance, our trash can broke just a year or two after
we bought it. A trash can? It should last for years,
really, but I didn't expect any better. And I didn't
complain to anyone (except my wife.)
So, if you get a complain, that means they trust you enough
to show you how much they wanted your offer/product/service
to work for them. That they trusted you enough to handle
them with care, even when they are upset. That they trusted
that you will take care of them.
That's a lot of trust.
So, how about those three things that are needed in the
response? Let's take a closer look at them.
Keys to Caring for Complaints.
• Hear ye, O hear ye!
First and foremost they want to be heard. They want you to
hear the facts of the matter, but even more importantly,
they want you to get that they are upset to some degree.
Read their email, or letter, or listen to the words they
spoke carefully. Did they say they were "frustrated?" Or
did they say they were "really upset!" Did their tone sound
like it had a LOT of energy in it, or was it fairly mild.
You want to let them know that you get exactly how upset
they are, and the tone of the emotion. If someone says
"really upset!" don't say: "Sounds like you're a little
frustrated."
They aren't a little frustrated- they are "really upset!"
So let them know you see it: "Wow, I get that you are
really upset! I'm glad you let me know how upset you are!"
• It's 'me' not 'we.'
We've all been trained to say "we" in these kinds of
situations. "We apologize for any inconvenience." But,
seriously, who is "we?" Even if you have a company of
10,000, you are the person responding.
They showed you trust by complaining, show them trust by
being a little vulnerable here, don't hide behind the 'we'
even if other people were involved.
For instance: 'I'm sad about the goof, because I want you
to get the best from me (or us if there is more than one of
you), and I'm grateful you let me know so I can fix it.'
• Accountability.
Tell them how you're going to fix the problem. Give
details. Instead of 'We'll replace it for you.' try writing
something like this:
'I'm putting the replacement in the mail today by priority
mail- you should have it in about three days. Please let me
know when you receive it and if it's in good shape.'
Most of all, respond to the people who complain as you
would talk to a good friend, not to someone who you need to
hide from or keep at an arm's length.
An example.
We received an email asking about an order- and, you know
what, our system dropped the order, and we weren't
tracking. We got paid, but we never shipped the item.
Luckily, this happens rarely.
The instinct from corporate examples is to respond like
this:
"We apologize for any inconvenience. We're sending you a
replacement copy immediately, and you should have it very
soon. We really appreciate your business, and we want to
make this right with you.
Sincerely,"
It's perfectly fine, in some ways. And yet, here is how we
like to respond:
"Wow- I'm so sorry that we goofed your order like that!
Ugh! I can imagine you've been frustrated, wondering where
in the heck your order is, and here it is more than a week
later!
"I want you to know that I just put your book into a
priority mail envelope and it's going out today. It should
take about three days to get to you. If you don't have it
by Tuesday, let me know.
"apologies! appreciation!
"Mark (or whomever is writing the email)"
And, we also usually put a little extra gift in the
package, as a surprise, when we goof.
If you let yourself breathe through your initial reaction
to a complaint, then you will see the deep trust that is
being given, and you can return it in a way that will feel
great to your heart.
Stick with saying "me" instead of "we," being authentic,
and show them how you are going to fix it, and you'll see
how goof-ups can actually be doorways to creating deeper
trust, and your upset clients just might turn into raving
fans.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your
Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your
Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line.
He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the
globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get
three free chapters of the book online:
http://www.heartofbusiness.com
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