Trust is leader's and a networker's bankroll. With trust,
he or she is solvent, without it, he or she is bankrupt.
A trusted networker, like a trusted leader, has a thick
bankroll of crisp bills. Every time you act inconsistently
with your professed values, or break a promise, you must
spend some of those crisp bills - when the bankroll is
gone, so is the trust that others have in you. At this
point, your personal appeals or persuasive arguments cannot
buy back that trust. Once lost, trust, and the personal
credibility it took to gain it, may take years to regain.
Trust & Credibility
Trust is much more than credibility. Credibility is a
necessary precursor to trust - before someone will place
their trust in you, they have to believe in you. Trust is
when a person places something of value to them into your
care an stewardship because they believe that you will take
good care and, usually, return to them something of greater
value.
As a leader, the 'something' may be as obviously important
as life - a military leader for example. It may be time or
skills or an idea for a business leader. Whatever the
situation, we place our trust in the leader. In turn, the
leader trust you to deliver on your promise. The
relationship is established beforehand, the leader's
credibility has been established and the result of this
'transaction' may reinforce or destroy trust.
In networking, the same rules apply. You might offer to
introduce someone to a business opportunity. As the
initiator, you must trust the person to be capable or risk
your personal credibility and the trust your opportunity
has in you. The individual you are introducing will also
trust that you will genuinely do as you say and that it is
a legitimate opportunity. Trust is a two-way street.
Establishing Trust.
1. Be honest and open The top leadership attribute of most
admired leaders in Kouzes and Posner's comprehensive survey
is honesty. This isn't just about telling the truth, it is
also 'doing what you say you will do'. And, it's worth
noting that honesty does not always imply that the truth is
to your own liking nor the action something with which you
agree.
Some networkers though fall into the 'marketing trap' -
embellishing aspects of their business or person to such a
degree that their honesty could quickly become suspect.
It's all very well having a fabulous 30 second 'elevator
pitch' designed to intrigue and excite others though if it
is too far removed from honesty, you may soon be dealing
out some of those crisp bills from your bankroll.
Trusted leaders are open and transparent - particularly in
this post-Enron world. The suspicion surrounding UK
politicians currently has a lot less to do with their
actual expense claims and a lot more to do with questions
about why such claims should be so secretive. Openness also
means being open to question. Your elevator pitch should
(according to those far more expert in this) invite
questions - your answers to those being a robust defense
citing evidence that supports your pitch. Can you defend
your elevator pitch?
2. Don't hide bad news Northern Rock has suffered a major
fallout, in part because the leaders hid the bad news (or
the potential for bad news), possibly even from themselves.
As the bad news leaked out, savers who had entrusted their
money queued to withdraw it immediately. To regain some
trust, the UK Government had to spend rather more than a
few crisp bills from its bankroll.
Advertising of financial or pharmaceutical products now
carry a warning of the potential downside or side effects
(albeit in tiny print or spoken at a rate few amphetamine
addicts would understand). Should our elevator pitch
contain such caveats? It would be honest.
3. Don't over promise Making promises you cannot keep? Why
do politicians rate as the most untrustworthy of people?
They promise the world and seldom deliver.
It's a trap that many parents fall into. Talking to their
kids about the exciting places they're going to go and the
fun they are going to have. From pimples - "you'll grow out
of it" to exhortions to study - "you'll be able to do
whatever you like when you graduate with honours".
Networkers are prone to over promise - it's considered
perhaps an embellishment, a slight exaggeration or, the
catch-all, marketing.
4. Walking the talk
Doing what you say you will do is probably the most
critical component of trust. If any of the three points
above are in doubt, there is little chance that you will be
able to walk the talk.
How many times have you been to a networking event that
ends in warm handshakes and empty commitments? When you say
that you will introduce a friend to a contact, do it. If
you say that you'll pass on their contact information, do
that. If you say that you'll turn their business around and
they will make 2 grand a month with just 4 hours work a
week... Diligent follow-through sets you apart from the
crowd and communicates trust.
Your trust bankroll is being spent every-time you: speak
falsehoods (however small); hide bad news (even the
potential of the downside); over-promise or; under deliver.
How to rebuild trust.
Even the greatest leaders can suffer a loss of trust. This
may be the result of error in judgment or a mistake. Or
circumstances may conspire against the leader (a favourite
of politicians and ex-Northern Rock senior management).
Networkers are also prone to losing trust - perhaps the
result of adverse market conditions or the failure of a
supplier or partner. A respected and trusted networker can
lose years of building trusted relationships through
introducing a connection who failed to deliver on their
promise. So how do we rebuild damaged trust?
Acknowledge the mistakes. When decisions turn out
unexpectedly, the leader owes his followers an explanation.
Inflated egos can make a leader quick to assign blame or
make excuses, but a mistake unacknowledged is compounded.
A straightforward acknowledgment of the mistake should be
the front end and made voluntarily. One forced (because I
got caught) does nothing to re-establish trust. "I forgot
to call" may not be something a networker likes to admit,
but it's more honest than making up a convoluted story of
deceit that tries to shift responsibility elsewhere.
Apologise. Admitting that you are fallible, that what you
did was wrong, that you made a mistake is an important step
to accepting responsibility. Knowing that you made an error
is one thing, admitting it to others, though painful,
allows you (and often them helping you) to put the incident
behind you and take action to avoid making the same mistake
in the future.
Make amends. Find a way to make amends with people you have
wronged. If you have harmed, make restitution. People often
forget that undelivered promises frequently have cost the
other party. If, for example, you agree to meet someone at
2pm, and turn up at 2.30 - you've just cost someone 30
minutes. Next time who will turn up and when?
You may not be required to do so, and it may be that
circumstances conspired against you, and it may be that it
really truly wasn't your fault - but accepting ownership
and taking responsibility goes a long way to thickening
that bankroll of trust.
Trust is the bedrock of the bond between leader and
follower, the bond that makes a network work. As a leader
and as a networker, trust will make or break your success
in any industry or circumstance.
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