QUOTE: "The more you say to yourself, 'I am responsible,'
the stronger, better and finer a person you become. And
every part of your life will improve at the same time." -
Brian Tracy
One of the themes running through my life currently, and in
the lives of my clients, is that of Personal
Responsibility. If you've been to my workshop and on any of
my calls, you know that I believe strongly in Personal
Responsibility (I often call it 'The No Excuses Approach')
and how I do not believe you can ever achieve BIG success
without it. It's a topic that few marketing ever really
talk about in depth, but one that is crucial for success.
You see, each time I bump up against a new level of success
in my business, a lot of my old "stuff" comes back up. I've
caught myself comparing my success to others with more
success, feeling resentful, feeling less-than, and
sometimes even BLAMING others or my own particular
situation or for not being where I would LIKE to be in
terms of success in that moment. And believe me, it doesn't
feel good. But perhaps you know exactly what I'm talking
about...
What I noticed is that I'm not the only one. As different
people in my life, both personally and professionally, move
up to the next level, or really WANT to move up to the next
level, but instead, begin to feel frustrated, I see them
pointing fingers OUTSIDE themselves, blaming their
situation, a certain person, the system, a program they
too, or whatever else they can find to shuck responsibility
for where they are.
What I also noticed is that, in the end, I'm ultimately
responsible for everything in my life, every increase in my
in-come and success over the last few years. But most
importantly, I'm also responsible for every setback. I can
blame no one but myself.
Everything I have in my life exists because of my actions,
my behaviors, my words and thoughts. And it's the same for
you. Every decision we make creates our circumstances and
because of that, we are ultimately responsible for each
success and failure, happiness, unhappiness and financial
situation.
I recently found an article by Brian Tracy, one of the
world's leading authorities on personal and business
success. This article has become one of my favorites and I
refer to it often and ask my clients to read it too,
especially when they start comparing their success to
others with more success, feeling resentful of their
situation, blaming others, or feeling angry and 'less-than'
because their particular situation is not what they'd like
it to be. Here's an excerpt:
"Responsibility goes hand in hand with success,
achievement, motivation, happiness and self-actualization.
It's the absolute minimum requirement for the
accomplishment of everything you could ever really want in
life. Accepting that you're completely responsible for
yourself and realizing that no one is coming to the rescue
is the beginning of peak performance...
The opposite of accepting responsibility is making excuses
and blaming people and things for what's going on in your
life. And since everything we do is a matter of habit, if
people get into the habit of making excuses, they get into
the habit of evading responsibility at the same time.
If they set a goal or objective for themselves, they
immediately create an excuse that they hold in reserve just
in case the accomplishment of the goal is too difficult or
requires more self-discipline and persistence than they had
thought.
As soon as things start to go poorly, irresponsible people
trot out their excuse and let themselves off the hook. But
that won't get them anywhere in the long run... The more
responsibility you take, the more in control you are. And
the freer you are, especially in your own mind, to make
decisions and to do the things you want to do. So there's a
direct relationship between responsibility, control,
freedom and happiness.
A person who is completely irresponsible is subject to
anger, hostility, fear, resentment, doubt-all sorts of
negative emotions. And here's why. All negative emotions
tend to be associated with blame. Fully 99 percent of all
our problems exist only because we're able to blame someone
or something for them. The instant we stop blaming, our
negative emotions begin disappearing.
What's the antidote to blaming? It's simple! Since your
mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive
or negative, you can override the tendency to blame and
become angry simply by saying, firmly, "I am responsible!"
You can't accept responsibility for a situation and be
angry at the same time... The acceptance of responsibility
negates negative emotions and short-circuits any tendencies
toward unhappiness. In fact, the acceptance of
responsibility often gives you insight into what you should
do to resolve the situation.
Everything that is happening to you on the outside is due
to something that is happening to you on the inside, so the
first place to look is within. As soon as you do that, you
begin to see things that you had completely missed when you
were busy blaming others and making excuses. You begin to
see that you're responsible in large measure for the things
that are happening to you.
You're earning today exactly what you're worth-not a penny
more, not a penny less. In life, we tend to get exactly
what we deserve. If you're not satisfied with the amount
you're getting, look around you, at people who are doing
the kind of work you would like to do and earning the kind
of money you would like to earn. Ask them what they're
doing differently from what you're doing. What are the
causes of the effects they're getting? Once you know what
they are, accept complete responsibility for your
situation, apply your wonderful mind and abilities, back
them with willpower and self-discipline, and get busy
making the changes you need to make to enjoy the life you
want to enjoy."
YOUR ASSIGNMENT:
You've heard the saying, "Speak the truth. The truth will
set you free." In this case, I want you to be VERY honest
with yourself in answering the following... stop hiding
behind your justifications or get off your high horse and
answer the following:
Have you recently blamed someone or something for the fact
that you haven't yet achieved what you wanted in your
business?
Are you using excuses (even JUSTIFYING your situation) so
that you don't have to take action in terms of getting
clients or be embarrassed in case "it doesn't work out"?
Have you harbored resentment towards someone or something
because you feel you were "gipped" in some way?
Do you feel anger or have lashed out in the past because
your business is not where you want it to be yet?
Are you pointing fingers, saying "This is the reason I'm
not making more"?
Have you compared yourself to someone else more financially
successful than you currently are, feeling less-than? Have
you perhaps even JUDGED that person based on their success?
Personally speaking, I know that I've been able to answer
"Yes" to all of these questions at some point in my
self-employed career. Whether I knew it consciously or not
at the time, it all resulted from avoiding responsibility
for what I was creating in my life. It didn't feel good,
and it certainly did not get me moving forward towards
success.
The key for me has been to be honest with myself about my
responsibility. No one else can create my life except for
me. Only I can control my thoughts, words, actions and
behaviors. Blaming or pointing fingers does absolutely no
good. In fact, it doesn't work and it's usually just an
excuse that we use, in case we fail. That way, we don't
need to be embarrassed. We can just say it wasn't our
fault. NONSENSE.
Consider this a fork in the road of your success. This is
your opportunity to step up in your business, stop using
excuses, stop resenting or comparing yourself and STOP
blaming others for what you have or don't have in your
life. It's time to take a NO EXCUSES approach to doing what
you have to do to get clients, start being consistent in
your marketing, work through the programs you've bought, or
clear your schedule to attend events (no matter what else
has "come up") that will give you the solution you SAY
you've been wanting. Begin to take FULL responsibility and
making different choices and your life and business will
never be the same. I promise you that; I'm living proof of
it.
----------------------------------------------------
Fabienne Fredrickson, The Client Attraction Mentor, is
founder of the Client Attraction System™, the proven
step-by-step program to attract more clients, in record
time...guaranteed. To receive your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by
mail and receive her weekly how-to articles on attracting
more clients, visit http://www.ClientAttraction.com .
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