Phil swaggered into my office, sank into the back of the
chair that I offered - and swiftly folded his arms.
Without saying anything, Phil simply looked at me with his
left eyebrow raised.
His defensive body language made it clear that he was not
looking forward to our session and I recalled that it had
been his boss who - concerned that his newly appointed
manager was causing waves in the office - had made the
appointment for Phil.
Phil was new to the role of management - and I was
beginning to get the impression that the problems in the
office were due to his "throwing his weight about".
Gently, I asked Phil how he was enjoying his new job.
"Yeah, it's great. I always knew I'd make it to manager
level, as I'm very ambitious. And as I see it, this is just
the first rung - I intend to make it all the way to the top
of the ladder!"
Proud of the fact that he was the youngest manager in the
company, Phil also felt that he had a lot to prove. In a
bid to ensure that he had the right skills, he had invested
both time and money in various management strategy books -
however, when I asked him about the "softer" skills of
leadership, he simply shrugged his shoulders.
"All of that stuff is just baloney. What really matters is
that an organisation has a clear plan of action, a clear
chain of command and a clear set of rules of engagement."
I pointed out to Phil that his language sounded almost
military in style - and asked him if he felt that being in
management was simply dealing with one "skirmish" after
another.
"I guess that pretty well sums it up," he said. "Sometimes
I think I should have a flak jacket! To be honest, the
people I manage aren't awfully good at taking orders - and
if we are going to hit our sales target, then sometimes I
have to pull rank on them to ensure that the job gets done."
Not surprisingly, it turned out that Phil's father had been
in the Army - and from our discussion, it appeared that
Phil's home life as a child had reflected his father's
career.
"Dad never allowed us to have our say," said Phil, "We were
just expected to follow orders. I guess that's the only
way I know - and frankly, I can't say that it's harmed me."
"No," I said, "But it's in danger of harming your career.
Most people have not had the same kind of childhood
experiences as you - and will not welcome your dictatorial
style. The people who work for you expect to be led - not
bullied."
Phil flushed red - and then went white at my words. But I
pressed on regardless, knowing that if he was to succeed in
the future, Phil had to understand now that he needed to
adopt a different management style.
I explained that if Phil wanted to earn respect as a
manager - and indeed earn promotion in the future - then he
needed to learn to respect his staff first.
"Poor leaders expect to be served and demand respect," I
said. "But great leaders expect to serve - and earn
respect."
Phil listened to my words and didn't speak for several
moments while he allowed them to sink in, eventually
saying: "You're right, I'm beginning to see why my staff
have been behaving the way they have. I guess if I change,
then they'll change."
I simply nodded my head in agreement.
----------------------------------------------------
Olivia Stefanino is a leadership consultant, speaker and
author of the internationally acclaimed management book,
"Be Your Own Guru". Interviewed on more than 25 radio
stations and featured in "The Guardian", "Natural Health"
& "Red", Olivia is a guest columnist for a number of
national and international publications. Download your
fr*ee e-booklet, "128 ways to harness your personal power!"
by visiting http://www.beyourownguru.com
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