There are times in life that seem to naturally give us the
opportunity for self-reflection. I don't mean the big life
events of births, deaths, graduations, weddings, and so on.
In fact, I've been to many of those, as I expect you have
too, and I find they breed the usual reflections over and
over... "What's the meaning of my life and how am I doing
against my idea of what it ought to be?" and so on.
And there are the 'normal' questions that work so
powerfully with my consulting clients - "What is working
well, and what could be working better?" These questions
open the floodgates for folks who haven't had a moment to
stop and look at what is going on in their business and
their life. They create the opportunity to reshape our
efforts and achieve new and different results. I'll come
back to those questions over and over in my coaching and
writing and offer you plenty of chances to use them. But
today I offer you another type of moment.
I'm talking about the unusual events that we're not
expecting and so they slide in under our radar and some of
us catch them, and some of us miss them altogether.
For me, one particular occasion was a family dinner at the
change of season called the "new" year. A group of us had
decided to have dinner together and in the middle of
passing chicken and veggies back and forth, someone posed
the question
"What gives you 'sheer delight'?"
"You know, " she said. "The type of thing that makes you
hum, makes you feel great and makes you appreciate the
place you're in and the thing you're doing."
Her own answer was "Singing." She had a busy life, a
successful career doing work she loved. The question made
her realize how empty one quiet corner of her life was for
the lack of time spent singing. She missed using her voice
to create beautiful sound, the challenge of mastering notes
some composer had laid out, voicing in combination with
others. With that discovery, she got involved in a choir.
No dramatic change of career, no upheaval of life. Yet the
realization that there was a missing activity that added
spice to the rest of her life was profound for her.
My answer worked its way up and spoke itself with quiet
simplicity.
At that point in my life I'd lived overseas twice, worked
in other cities, traveled widely, changed jobs at least
five times. If the question had been worded "Someone, tell
me what gives Linda 'sheer delight'." the answer from the
folks around the table would likely have been "Travel!" or
"Fixing problems!"
And they would have been off base. Those are among my
gifts, my expertise and my enormous satisfaction. But not
at the heart of the matter. My answer?
"Great conversations!"
What gives me intense joy is being engaged in
conversations, ones that raise new ideas for me, that
create energy with the person I'm in conversation with,
information that shifts my perspective and adds new
resources to the Mary Poppins kit bag I carry in my mind.
It doesn't matter the subject or location. A side benefit
of those conversations is in the rich problem-solving that
can take place.
And understanding that distinction changed my life.
I realized by voicing my answer, that the consulting I was
doing at that time was boring me. It was analytical work
resulting in written reports presented to appreciative
clients. It didn't matter that I have a very analytical
mind and I was identifying critical issues and valuable
solutions effectively for my clients. And, it wasn't making
me smile when I got out of bed on Tuesday mornings.
We're all so used to putting on our poker face and carrying
on that we forget to look inside ourselves. My discovery
that I could name what made me hum allowed me to take a
fresh look at how to incorporate great conversations in the
foreground, on purpose, in my daily life. And that led to
changing the form and the content of the work that I do in
my consulting and coaching. I now build in an emphasis on
conversations where ideas and visions and goals are up on
the table, assumptions get challenged, new perspectives and
approaches are offered toward achieving results more
effectively. All things considered in order to shape new
successes.
The results speak for themselves. I get calls and letters
telling me that the question I posed to a client, the idea
I shared in a conversation, the approach I used for running
a meeting or facilitating a management retreat changed
someone's perspective, their internal assumptions, their
know how, and their results in their work and life.
Building my life around my sheer delight has helped me
create a six-figure income, relationships with people
looking to increase the effectiveness of their efforts in
their professional and personal worlds, and has me smiling
when I wake up on Tuesday mornings.
Being inspired by sheer delight has had the same result in
the lives of others who have looked behind their own poker
face for their passion. What might you create with yours?
----------------------------------------------------
© 2007 Linda Feinholz Management expert, consultant,
and coach Linda Feinholz is "Your High Payoff Catalyst" and
publishes the free weekly newsletter The Spark! and
delivers targeted solutions, practical skills and simple
ways to boost professional and personal results. If you're
ready to focus on your High Payoff activities, accelerate
your results and have more fun, get your FREE tips at her
site http://www.YourHighPayoffCatalyst.com
No comments:
Post a Comment