Everything in life is a compromise; everything in life is a
negotiation. We all seem stifled by the word and
implications that surround negotiating. Yet what most of us
do not realize is that we have been negotiating since we
were born. From the time we wanted a bottle or refused
napping our education in negotiation began. In fact,
research for this article illustrates that 43% of the
American workforce changed jobs since 2006. And, the
divorce rate in the United States hovers at over 53%.
However, we become increasingly befuddled by negotiation.
We hold strong beliefs that negotiation is meant to be a
battle. We begin negotiations on the defensive and seek to
end them in a similar manner. The most vital idea to
comprehend about negotiation is its definition.
Negotiation is nothing more than an exchange of ideas and
values between two or more parties with different
interests. Conceptually negotiation is a communication and
critical thinking exercise inducing creative problem
solving. This article seeks to address ways in which you
can negotiate and still move away with your credibility and
friendships in tact.
The best concept for understanding negotiation is to
indicate what it isn't. We first need to debunk the myths.
Myth: Negotiation is about winning and losing. The myth of
win-lose is ancient. Validation of winning is not
bequeathing more concessions than the other party. One
simply needs to be concerned with the amount of take. This
denotes loss.
Myth: Negotiation is about power All people in a
negotiation have power. If two sides are negotiating each
as an equal amount of power, one desires something from the
other. Yet negotiation is not so much about power, it is
about honesty or lack thereof. Power stems from the side
that enables it. Donald Trump by nature believes he has
power due to wealth and notoriety, yet if he desires
something from someone else the power shifts. The larger
concern is not relinquishing power to the opposing side.
Myth: Negotiation is about chicanery In reality,
negotiation is about resolving an issue where both sides
obtain equal value by amicably and honestly agreeing to
terms. However, negotiation is similar to chess, strategies
are used and sometimes held so that each party gains more
than they requested. Rather than lie, most negotiators are
honest, they simply do not fully disclose information.
Myth: All negotiations are about prices and are sales
related Nothing is further from the truth. Negotiations
stem from all walks of life: from dating, to deciding upon
a movie to noise decibels. Negotiating establishes
boundaries and how far each side allows another within them.
Perhaps the most understood principle of negotiation is a
requirement to plan. Most often, negotiations fail due to
improper procedures, paperwork or misread issues. Planning
is the first and vital step in every negotiation. Each
party should strategize to define the motives of each side,
goals that might be addressed, time frames and players.
Research affirms that in 73% of most negotiators are
unprepared. This step is vital to assist in moving forward.
Good planning and comprehension help to avoid miscues and
maintain proper and efficient conversation. Exemplars of
good negotiation techniques are barely surprised by new
information.
Negotiations are mixed motive situations. Each side arrives
with a variety of goals and objectives- even timeframes.
What appears urgent to one; is apathetic to another. It is
imperative that issues be immediately addressed. Most
importantly, the issues must be documented so all parties
agree without a misunderstanding. A foppish issue should
not resurface at a latter time. The more detailed the
documentation the easier it becomes to facilitate
conversation. Once agreed to, timetables should be
established so as not to languish on any one issue.
Negotiation is information and relationship dependent.
Information is crucial to negotiation. The data need be
specific; it is easier to comprehend and complete issues.
Typically a tactical ploy to assist concessions, most data
is not displayed. Negotiators should then decifer the most
imperative issues first do that all needed data is
disclosed making for effective conversations.
Coincidentally, conversations are more placid when parties
are familiar with each other. Particular interest is
implicitly displayed since familiarity with both parties
shares a common interest- "saving face". Dignity is a
traditional process. Whether in business or amongst
friends, all desire to maintain honor, especially with
familiarity of the parties. As the cliché states
familiarity breeds content; the more familiarity with
someone the easier the negotiation!
Egos and Communication. Another crucial component for
negotiation success is to check you baggage and your ego at
the door. Good negotiators know they are purposeful and do
not advertise their success. A negotiation is concerned
with mutual agreement not wins and losses. Keeping egos in
check helps alliances and other desired relationships.
Additionally, all negotiators need reminders for ears and
eyes and not mouth. Too often negotiators tend to spoil
alliances by speaking too much. Peter Drucker once stated,
"Communication is often about what is not stated".
Listening enables all to understand issues, allow for
issues that might go unstated and strategically enable the
"opponent" to move first. The alliance builders understand
the vitality of listening, it is a practiced art form.
Compromise, Commitment and Conclusion. Negotiation would
not exist if not for the power and the reciprocity of
compromise. Concessions enable negotiators to agree on
small things to assist in declaring small victories.
Accommodations negate foolish issues and streamline
discussion. Once decided, agree to commitment and document
so as not to rehash. Trivial details take time away from
other important issues. It is more important to move
forward then review unnecessary data. Once the issue is
complete, move forward or conclude, it allows less time for
pondering decisions.
To allay any fears of negotiating, it is best to align this
business tactic with athletics, it is a learned format not
born. Admittedly, there exist individuals that love to
converse and banter yet negotiation is not an easy skill.
It takes patience, persistence and proper listening to
understand the issues. Negotiation is a part of everything
we do in life, almost every day. It is a skill that
combines crucial critical thinking, reciprocity, and
professional communication. It is not easy to win friends
and influence decisions in negotiation, yet if we
understand motives, create a thorough plan and expect the
unexpected, each negotiation we have becomes easier and
more effective. Negotiation increases our perception, our
patience and our resolve to maintain business relationships.
----------------------------------------------------
Drew Stevens PhD
http://www.gettingtothefinishline.com
Drew Stevens Phd works with organizations to maximize sales
in less time. Drew can assist your organization with sales
or customer service. Order his latest book now, Split
Second Selling available on Amazon.com or at his
website,http://www.gettingtothefinishline.com/products.php
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