QUOTE: "Your playing small does not serve the world. There
is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to
shine... And as we let our own light shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others." —Marianne Williamson
During a Mastermind session last week, I got clear on the
ONE obstacle standing between me and doubling my business
next year. Contrary to what I originally thought, it's not
a lack of knowledge, of what to do next or a marketing
challenge. I actually know exactly what to do to double my
business. For me, it's a question of leveraging my time, my
marketing and my resources so that I can help many, many
more solo-preneurs get more clients, create systems for
marketing, clean up their mindset and give them the tools
and the permission to succeed. That's my purpose and it's
fun for me.
What's actually been holding me back is something much more
internal. It's the deeply ingrained fear that the bigger I
get, meaning the bigger my business gets, the more I will
make myself a target for criticism and "pot shots". Here's
why:
For years, I've witnessed women entrepreneurs truly succeed
and watched as others began to pick them apart, to
criticize them and sometimes trash them, even when they
didn't know them. Have you noticed that too? Ironically
enough, it's usually other women doing the criticizing
(instead of the supporting), and I'm sad to say, I've
partaken in that sometimes too, even when I didn't know the
person. I regret it, especially as I'm poised to be in the
very same position sometime soon.
Somehow, it seems that the bigger in business you get, the
more people feel entitled to take you down. My friend
Valerie Hayes (PageantInterviewCoach.com) coaches her
pageant contestant clients that as they become more of a
‘celebrity', they must recognize that they're now a
target for gossip and to just "deal with it". As she says,
it's just a part of human conditioning and that you can't
do anything about it. It almost means you've "arrived", a
signal of success.
What she also shared with me is that if people are
criticizing you, it's almost never about you, but about
them. When you put yourself out there in a BIG way, realize
there WILL be a backlash. I believe it threatens or
intimidates people when you have the courage to stand out a
little bit more. It's that Tall Poppy syndrome that
Australians talk about, meaning, tall poppies need to be
cut down when they grow higher than other flowers in the
field. Funny enough, poppies are one of my very favorite
flowers and I have paintings of them in my office. Perhaps
I was born to be a tall poppy. What about you?
The solution for getting over the fear of criticism from
getting bigger is to come from a place of Compassion and
Purpose. Compassion because I believe that deep down,
people don't mean to be malicious, it's just their own
"stuff" that comes up, feelings of inadequacy or jealousy,
that they haven't arrived yet.
Their personal issues are not your problem, so ignore them,
with compassion, especially if you've been there too at one
point. And Purpose because, when you stay focused on the
purpose for your business (helping OTHERS), then anything
else becomes secondary, even if it hurts sometimes. Focus
on your leadership and power as being something that SERVES
others, not hurts others and you'll shine and then give
others permission to shine.
In a battle between Fear of Criticism and Helping Others,
courage will take you through the fear and into doing the
right thing, despite what snippy people will say. The
bottom line is, the ‘yummy' people will stay and
that's all that matters: "Those Who Mind Don't Matter and
Those Who Matter Don't Mind." – Dr. Seuss.
Your Assignment:
Have you been holding yourself back in marketing because of
fear of growing too big and being criticized? You've heard
me say this a thousand times: "It's your DUTY to get out
there and market your services in a big way because it's
your DUTY to help others." Your fear of criticism is simply
your ego wanting to protect itself from the unknown,
wanting you to stay small and stay safe. Fact is, it
doesn't serve you or anyone else to stay small.
Look at fear in the face and start thinking about the
worst-case-scenario. What's the worst that can happen if
you get criticized a little? Would you die? Probably not.
Would you survive? Probably yes. THEN, look at all the
upsides to moving through your fear of growing your
business bigger. List all the wonderful things that would
come from it and live from THAT place. Remember, Successful
People feel the fear, and they do it anyway. And now it's
your turn (and mine). :)
If you're not sure what you need to do to get out there in
a BIGGER way with your marketing, in the first place, then
it's time to take action and invest in a step-by-step
marketing system that will feel easy and authentic to you.
----------------------------------------------------
The Client Attraction Home Study System™ avoids all
the unnecessary stuff and instead gives you the most
important things to do to get out there in a big way, set
up simple, solid systems, so you consistently fill your
pipeline and continually get new clients. It's all
step-by-step, So easy. All the tools, scripts, templates,
and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. You can
get it at http://www.TheClientAttractionSystem.com .
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