Business momentum is when a series of "events" build upon
each other, and multiply their efforts. It's when your
business starts to have some steam of its own, and you get
carried along for the ride. For instance, we had some
February sunshine here in Portland, and I went bicycling.
Each time I pedalled was an "event."
But, that pedaling only creates momentum that carries me
forward when I'm not peddling IF...
IF I don't stop after every time I pedal. IF I choose a
destination and move towards it. Every time I stop, or make
a sharp turn, I lose the momentum I've been building.
To build momentum in your business you need: 1) a direction
and destination, 2) a vehicle, and 3) a continuous series
of "events" - similar to pedaling.
Okay, got it. What's grief got to do with it?
To work towards momentum requires you to make what is often
a very difficult choice-- to say "Yes" to one thing, and to
say "No" to something else, usually several somethings.
No matter how great the "Yes" is, the "No" still registers
in your heart as a loss. As much as you might want to only
focus on how good the "Yes" feels, the grief of the "No" is
there, whether you acknowledge it or not. Collect enough
unacknowledged "No"s, and your decisions become harder and
harder, as you are trying to move forward through more and
more grief-sludge.
Because the feeling of loss can be uncomfortable, it's easy
for it to go underground, and may be part of why you are
finding it difficult to do the things you know you need to
do to create business momentum. Look for grief in these two
areas:
First grief: Time lost
Like me, you've no doubt imagined that you would be living
a life that looks a little different than the one you have.
You thought your business would be further along, your love
life settled, your bank account bigger, your novel
published. Whatever it is, you cherish hopes and dreams,
and they haven't all come through yet.
The illusion that you should already already be there, gets
in the way of actually accomplishing those dreams. It will
be far easier to move forward if you grieve how it feels to
have spent so much time and still not have your dreams,
than to continue carrying the burden of your illusion. Once
grieved, the path to your dreams will be a lot easier to
walk.
Second grief: Choices lost
If you live to be 80 years old, you'll have lived 960
months. At age forty, you've got 480 left. It's a sobering
truth that you can't do everything you want. You probably
can't even do half of all your dreams. But, you can
accomplish some of them IF you choose.
The ocean or the mountain?
In my bicycling adventure, I can't ride out to both Astoria
on the Oregon coast and inland to Mount Hood on the same
day. Because those rides are each a day or more, I need to
choose. If on Saturday I'm attached to both Astoria and
Mount Hood, tough luck. I need to choose one, grieve the
other, or be left with not deciding at all, and not getting
to either of them.
It's the same in your business. You may have two different
directions you can go in: trying to sell your product to
big companies, or to small business owners. Take it from
me: you can't do both at the same time. Once you build one
up successfully, you can switch to the other. But the
marketing message and methods are going to be different for
each. You need to choose one, and grieve the other. If you
try to do both, you won't get anywhere.
Grief equals Freedom.
Grieving in a healthy way is actually incredibly freeing.
And that freedom is what you need in order to start working
towards momentum.
How does grief work in these situations? How do you keep
from getting caught in the undertow?
Keys to Momentum-Building Grief
• The first step is identifying the decision you've been
avoiding.
Is it target market? Is it business structure? Is it your
website? It can seem challenging to make a decision when
you aren't sure what's right. I recommend making the best
decision your heart can show you, and then noticing what
happens. When you make a clear choice to let something go,
even if it's sad, it feels clean. But avoiding that choice
can leave you feeling 'tangled' and dead.
• Anger is a natural part of grief. Retribution isn't.
It's definitely normal to feel angry when things aren't the
way we thought they would be. The best thing to do is use
the anger to help you find the real sense of loss, and let
the sadness and grief come out.
You know you are avoiding the sadness and grief if you
start running continual stories of blame and/or fantasies
of retribution. While addictive, these stories aren't
satisyfing, and they don't change the situation. Every time
you feel anger, question yourself: "Is there a loss of some
sort that I don't want to face?"
• Grief is messy. It's okay to be messy.
If you really are grieving something, you'll go through
cycles of blame, anger, denial, bargaining, and sadness.
And, you may feel great one day, down the next, great the
day after. It probably won't be nearly as big as if someone
you love has died, but don't underestimate the impact of
grieving your dreams.
If you really let yourself go through this process, you'll
get to find some clarity, and you may be surprised to find
your business moving into momentum, and living your dream!
Once you've let go of the "No"s and followed the "Yes" all
the way through to your dream, you get a second chance. You
can either go back and pick up one of your earlier dreams
that you let go. Or, more likely, move forward into your
next dream which you couldn't have even imagined before.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your
Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your
Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line.
He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the
globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get
three free chapters of the book online:
http://www.heartofbusiness.com
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