Negotiations: Increasing Your Effectiveness

Always start with a consideration for consideration offer:
a presentation of the minimum transfer conditions well
within your negotiating limits. Declare yourself up front.
'You have something I want and I have something you want. I
am a negotiator. Let's negotiate about the transfer
conditions.' For example, 'I would like for you to…. I
understand that it would be something that would change
things a little for you. I think that I have an offer that
will make it a comfortable thing for you, though. In
consideration of your…, I will….' Simply fill in your
consideration and my consideration: the minimum transfer
conditions. You have made me a consideration for
consideration offer and have done so in a way that lets me
know that you are a serious negotiator.

If I begin negotiating, all is well. I might say, 'I might
think about what you want from me; but what you're offering
is not enough for me to give you what you want, you will
need to….' I have made a counter offer and we are 'horse
trading' as the negotiators say. Suppose I say, 'No.' Are
the negotiations over? Being a good negotiator you
understand my saying 'No' as simply my first negotiation
offer. You say, 'That really surprises me. Under what
conditions would you…?' I will then probably make an
opening offer - present an initial set of transfer
conditions to you. If not, you simply learned that what you
want is - from my point of view - simply not negotiable.

The following tips have been found by good negotiators to
increase their negotiating effectiveness and increase the
extent to which they are respected as effective negotiators.

Stay relaxed and friendly.

Remember the 80-20 rule. Eighty percent of the movement -
progress - will be made in the last 20 percent of the time
available for negotiating. Knowing this makes it easier to
stay relaxed and much easier to be patient.

Keep your focus on the negotiations - the transfer
conditions. Skilled negotiators will try to distract you,
will talk about things unrelated to the negotiations, and
try to diffuse your focus. Through this process, keep your
internal focus, your mind's eye on the negotiations.

Ask for and suggest options. When suggesting options, raise
- only as possibilities - different mixes or combinations
of consideration. Here, it is important to take care to
always stay within your negotiating limits.

Always remember that you are negotiating and never simply
trying to get your own way. Your focus is on the transfer
conditions and includes your giving me something in
exchange for what you hope to get.

The following negotiating strategies appear subtle and not
easily seen from the point of view of the negotiation
novice. For a skilled negotiator like the one you are
becoming, though, they are easy to spot and are an
important part of your negotiating repertoire.

Use the first third of the available negotiating time
simply to get a feel for my interest. Importantly, you will
also determine what I want; but my interest represents how
I think I will be better off if we are able to successfully
complete our negotiations. 'Interest' is not what I want
but rather 'Why' I want it.

Once you have a feel for my interest, develop a priority
listing of that interest as you understand it. Put my most
important interest - my most important 'Why' at the top of
the list and then continue listing my interest in terms of
descending priority for me.

Acknowledge and facilitate my interest in the priority
order you have developed.

Based on your understanding of my interest, take time to
show me how I am going to be better off.

As you talk about the transfer conditions, be very clear.
Show me who, what, when, where, why, and - most importantly
- how.

Within any exchange - meeting transfer conditions - there
are some risks. If there were no risks to me including no
possibility of being less well off after I give you what
you want, I would probably simply give it to you. I would
understand that as doing you a favor and, if nothing else,
would expect that you might reciprocate at some point in
the future. When negotiating, there are always some risks.
Be up front with me and very specific about the risks. Show
me all of the risks. This will require that you think about
the situation from my point of view, from my perspective.
Good negotiators are superbly skilled with this aspect of
the process. From my point of view, what are the risks? It
is always better if you bring them up and define them
clearly for me than if I bring them up in the process.

As you interact with me, limit the amount of detail you
bring into the process, be very accurate, and always have
more detail available to expand on or back up anything you
say. Wait for me to request the additional detail, though.
If I do not request it, it is appropriate for you to
indicate that more detail is available if I would like to
have it. Let it go at this, though. (From a strategic point
of view, this puts you in the position of being the expert
who is teaching me.)

Show me how we will share the risks and responsibilities.
Remember that the person with whom you are negotiating will
be more comfortable if the risks and responsibilities are
shared as opposed to either you accepting all of the risk
or responsibility or the other person accepting all of the
risk or responsibility. From this perspective, the key is
to maintain each of us as equal participants in the process.

Always let me be the one to make the final decision. Even
if I may have made the last offer and you are prepared to
accept it say, 'I think you have made an offer I can
accept. I think we are about to a point where we can agree
to agree. What do you think?' Whenever possible, let me
make the final decision. Why? Because I will feel better,
feel more in control, and feel more comfortable with the
position into which you have gotten me.

Always credit me with having made a good decision. Say, 'I
feel like you have made a really good decision. I
appreciate the time you have spent talking with me about
this.' What if my decision was to simply stop negotiating
and not do what you wanted me to do? The response is the
same. 'I appreciate the time you have taken to talk with me
about this. All things considered, I think you have made a
good decision from your point of view. It did not turn out
quite the way I wanted it to turn out; but I respect the
decision you have made.' Why do this? You never know; you
may want to negotiate with me again. You have left our
relationship at a point where I feel good about you and
about negotiating with you again. Save your negative
feelings or reactions for a later time when you are by
yourself and can say anything you want to say. At the point
our negotiations stop, though, take care not to 'burn your
bridges behind you,' as they say.

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This article is excerpted from The Frustration Factor from
Glenbridge Publishing. For more from Gary Crow, visit
http://www.LeadershipVillage.com
or http://www.LeadershipVillage.org