Client Claire recently described her week as being 'fast
and furious.' We soon discovered that this was the story
of her life, not just one week. Claire has a full plate
and then some. She thinks, moves and talks fast. She
prides herself in being a quick learner, an expert in her
field. Silently, she berates those who cannot keep pace or
who slow her down with questions or concerns.
What Claire is missing in her 'fast and furious' pace is
her influence on those around her, those on whom she
depends and who depend on her. One-by-one, she is
alienating co-workers, associates and friends alike.
What's Claire's main challenge? She sees others not as
individuals, but through the role they play in her life -
what they can do for her. In seeing them as individuals,
she would notice how her communication affects them and the
ensuing results they produce for her. She would see how
uncomfortable people have become around her.
We can deliver the very same message with varying affects
on others. We can inspire them, soliciting enthusiasm and
eagerness to cooperate. We can educate, softly sharing our
wisdom or unique perspective. We can leave them confused,
uncertain, resentful, possibly in tears. How do you think
Claire left her recipients?
There are many subtleties in the way people actually hear
what we are saying. Each of us is more transparent than we
think. The first step is to look in the eyes of your
recipient. Who is this person? What are their concerns?
What motivates them?
Does this individual move at a fast pace, meaning that we
need to be succinct? Are they detail-oriented, needing
backup material? Are they familiar with your data or do
they need to be educated? Is their mind elsewhere
presently, meaning that this is not an appropriate time?
What is their incentive to cooperate or even listen to you?
Taking time to answer these questions will help you focus
on the recipient, not merely yourself; time to notice
subtleties that work best to get your message across
effectively such as pace, vocal tone, amount of information
and whether to put your message in the form of a question,
a statement or even in writing.
Finally, looking at your recipient as an individual allows
you to engage two of your most basic emotional needs in
relationships—respect and appreciation. A touch of
humor (not sarcasm) appropriately tossed in lightens every
setting.
Once Claire treats her team as humans trying to do their
best, foibles and all, her messages will be received in
such a manner to elicit amazing cooperation, which will in
turn take many things off her plate and result in a better,
more productive environment all the way around.
This is a great week to learn more about how you look at
those with whom you communicate? Do you deliver messages
fast and furious? How do you leave your
recipients—eager to cooperate and become more
creative in their work for you or resentful, even angry? Do
you berate them in your mind if they aren't a fast learner?
Must they all be an expert in their field? Or is there
another way? Enjoy your discoveries!
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For the sake of keeping your career fresh and on track,
would you like to enjoy a weekly shot-in-the-arm from
Master Certified Coach Ann Golden Eglé? You can sign
up for her free weekly ezine, The Success Thought of the
Week, at http://www.gvsuccesscoaching.com .
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