How being outnumbered will gain you raving fans.
You're sitting in class, and the teacher at the front has
just said something that doesn't entirely make sense to
you. "You see, the world is flat. It's always been flat.
And it always will be flat. Flat, flat, flat."
The year is 1400 A.D., and you're thinking, "But, what if
it isn't flat? What if it's round?"
Do you stick your hand up and tell the teacher? Is it worth
being burned by the Inquisition just so you can speak your
mind?
You probably have a few ideas that defy the mainstream.
It's hard to be in business for any length of time and not
develop your own opinions, insights, and ideas. And some of
them may be.... controversial. Talking about them may get
some people's wigs in a knot, and garner you your fair
share of push back and abuse.
My client was ostracized.
She was in an online discussion, and a topic came up that
she had a strong opinion about, which she shared. And then
the next ten commenters promptly disagreed with her.
Some dismissed her opinion as "irrelevant." Others accused
her of being "afraid" or "timid." Not one person who
responded took her response seriously.
I don't know about you, but when that happens to me, my
knee-jerk response is to crawl back under the covers into a
fetal position, and cry myself to sleep.
If you do that, you abandon your newest raving fans.
See, in every conversation, there are the talkers, and the
listeners. Since you are the one representing your
business, I hope that you step into the 'talker' position
as often and sincerely as you can, in any conversation that
touches on what you do. Whether it's an online forum, the
comments section of a blog, a networking event, or a
Saturday night bash, you might find yourself engaged in a
conversation that touches on your area of expertise.
The status quo can seem to hold a lot of power. And,
stepping into the spotlight by speaking a controversial
point of view may get you into an argument, or, worse,
politely ignored or brushed off.
But, you have a secret weapon.
The Truth echoes loudly.
Remember those listeners, the ones that are eavesdropping
on the conversation, but aren't speaking? Other talkers may
have run you over, but your insight or opinion is still
hitting a chord of truth in the ears of those listeners.
You see, they already believe, or want to believe, what
you've spoken. But, they don't want to get run over. When
you speak up, you are a candidate for the open office of
'champion' in their minds.
If you back down, or disappear, you lose, and so do they.
If you stand up for what you believe, even if you convince
none of the other talkers, you still win with the people
who really count- the listeners who need a champion.
An example: Poverty Consciousness.
A while ago I wrote an article declaring that a healthy
poverty consciousness is more effective than abundance
thinking. I got my share of pushback from people, some of
whom were fans of the movie The Secret, others who thought
I was collapsed and letting people down.
On the other hand, I heard from hordes of people who were
frustrated and fed up with their own experience of
'abundance thinking' and for whom the powerful humility
available in my description of 'healthy poverty
consciousness' rang true.
It's also happened on various discussion forums I've
participated in, where I've gotten pushed at pretty
vigorously in the public forum, and yet receive private
emails and messages from people who were grateful... and
who went on to become customers and clients. (Thank you!
You know who you are...)
Truth is more powerful than playing it safe.
It's not much fun to wade into a bar-room brawl, throwing
chairs and breaking bottles (although I've always wanted to
try it out with those break-away chairs and sugar bottles
they use on Western movie sets).
But, hiding out, biting your lip not saying anything at
all, means that you are abandoning people who want to hear
your version of things. This leaves them drowning in a
flood of 'business as usual.'
Of course, you don't want to be rude or insulting to
others. How do you handle controversy in a way that helps
people, and no one ends up getting -too- bruised up?
Keys to Truth in Controversy
* Make the controversy clear.
What is an opinion, insight, or thought you've had in your
business that goes against the status quo? Once you've
identified it, work it through.
Is it a knee-jerk reaction, or something that feels really
true to you? If it feels true, take time to get clear on
your position, beyond 'it just feels right.' Find examples
and case studies of how it's worked. Sniff out the
principles of why it's true.
* Don't minimize what you're saying.
It's easy to minimize your insight just to be 'nice' and
avoid conflict. Don't do it. Don't be afraid to speak
strongly. "Well, I don't agree with what you say. I've
found that many people I've worked with struggle with
abundance thinking without ever seeing results, and yet
poverty consciousness really rings true for them, and they
have no trouble following through and seeing results."
If you are conflict-adverse, simply speaking your own
perspective can sound impossible. The key is to talk about
yourself. Saying "I don't agree" is very different than
saying "You are wrong." No need to talk about them. Talk
about yourself and you can sound strong, without attacking
anyone.
* Remember who you're speaking to.
Remember: you're really speaking to the listeners, and not
to the people who disagree with you. The controversy with
the ones who disagree is bringing some light to a Truth
that needs to be seen- but you are not arguing with or
otherwise trying to win or convince the people who are
dead-set against what you're saying.
You are speaking for those who are silent. Who are stuck.
Who need to hear a different perspective so they can find
some freedom and movement.
It's not uncommon for these kinds of encounters to release
a lot of adrenalin. You might find yourself shakey, scared,
wanting to hide during or afterwards. Be gentle with
yourself. Make space for your fear and your shaking. There
is nothing wrong with you.
The world isn't flat, and never was. Keep your commitment
to finding the truth in the forefront, and keep your eyes
on those silent listeners, who are wanting your support in
learning a different way around the world.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your
Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your
Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line.
He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the
globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get
three free chapters of the book online:
http://www.heartofbusiness.com
