"I've tried to market myself for years. I've worked with
coaches, counselors and healers of all stripes. They all
tell me I need to work through my resistance to marketing,
and yet I still hate it."
My heart was breaking. I was speaking with someone who had
the seeds of an amazing business, one that had been limping
along for years, never expanding beyond a small handful of
dedicated and raving fan clients.
Is this you? Do you offer something miraculous, sacred, or
holy, or something that's really darn good, and yet you
resist marketing it?
Your resistance to marketing is healthy.
You aren't broken. You don't have deep wounds to fix or
heal around promoting yourself. You don't need to work on
valuing yourself.
Then why do you hate marketing yourself? The problem isn't
with you, it's a misunderstanding about marketing, and
attraction.
The spiritual truth behind attraction.
What is attraction? The mysterious pull between two hearts,
or two heavenly bodies. We're talking about Gravity, about
Love. Attraction is a mystery. Thousands of years of
science have not been able to explain or reproduce gravity,
and thousands of years of mysticism and poetry have only
been able to talk about Love.
You can't manufacture Love. You can't manufacture
attraction.
You have a natural resistance to marketing, because you
know in your heart that trying to 'be attractive' is a
losing battle. And, when you go to market yourself by
trying to be attractive to people, it feels intimidating,
even slimy.
Any attempt to use your will power to manufacture
attraction comes out feeling artificial, manipulative, or
just empty.
I bet you've had clients who have shown up saying, "I don't
know why, but as soon as I saw your flyer/heard about you,
I knew I had to come."
That's the mysterious Divine nature of Love at work. The
trouble is that it happens just often enough for you to
think that's how it should always be- just the right person
feeling the impulse, and showing up on your door.
If that's how it works, how come your business isn't
consistently thriving?
Marketing is about safety, not attraction.
Marketing is needed because Love is so scary and
intimidating. The last time you felt the impulse in your
heart to do something out of the ordinary, what did you do?
Did you immediately say "Yes!" and jump with both feet?
Not me. I tend to worry about and question those impulses.
So do your customers.
That's where marketing comes in. It's not about attraction,
it's about helping the people who are attracted to feel
safe enough to trust that call in their heart.
If you see someone hurt in front of you, what do you do?
If your natural inclination is to help someone who is hurt,
then I have good news: you have the natural impulse needed
to be a very effective, heart-centered marketer.
The impulse to help is where it starts, but how does
marketing really help?
Read on: Keys to Love in Marketing
• Remember: Empathy before strategy.
When I was a paramedic, I saw firsthand that when people
are hurt or sick, they feel scared and vulnerable, and can
be mistrusting or cautious. Empathy for their situation
goes a long way to creating trust.
Once empathy is present, the people you are talking to will
be much more open to receiving even just a small bite of
your help.
• Doing what you love, and marketing it, are the same thing.
Okay, they aren't exactly the same thing, there is one
difference: the level of commitment on the other side. In
marketing, it's a one-way relationship where you are giving
help from a place of generosity and effectiveness.
When someone becomes a customer or client, then it becomes
a two-way relationship, and their commitment means that you
receive from them, and it also means that they are willing
to receive more from you.
Start to brainstorm and heart-storm: what are ways that
your marketing could actually help the people you want to
serve (hint: this article you're reading is an example.)
• Give at an appropriate and sustainable level.
Before someone becomes a customer, they aren't really
wanting a lot... yet. Remember that when you meet a new
friend, you aren't necessarily going to spend hours
recounting details from your childhood in an effort to
create intimacy. More likely, you are going to talk about
smaller subjects, until the relationship warms up.
The same with your marketing. Don't throw a kitchen at
them: just give little bits of help, plus an opportunity
for them to ask for more.
And, pay attention not only to what is appropriate for
them, but to how it can be sustainable for you. An
individual one-hour conversation with every person who
shows the slightest interest is way too much for them, and
for you. But, a short article on a common issue you help
people with can be given out easily and sustainably.
Feel better now that you know you don't have to try to be
attractive? Start with empathy, giving help, and being
appropriate and sustainable, and you are on your way to
powerful, heart-centered marketing in 2007.
Here's to a coming year that is full of love, caring, peace
and connection for each of us.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your
Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your
Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line.
He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the
globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get
three free chapters of the book online:
http://www.heartofbusiness.com
