Everyone around us was waiting with baited breath, leaning
forward in their seats, watching as if to see if the lions
would eat the gladiators in the arena.
Well, it was actually a more modern version of that moment
- A presenter at a conference posed an offer and a
challenge.
"Who wants to win $200?"
Two contenders stepped up briskly and were seated across
from each other at the table.
"Are you familiar with arm wrestling? Yes? So here's the
challenge. I'm giving you 20 seconds to get the other guy's
arm down on that table and if you do I'll give you 200
bucks. Ready? Go!"
And the fists clenched, muscles seized and the hooting and
hollering started immediately... They had every intention
of making sure the $200 was their own.
That moment was very like the ones that go on in offices,
school hallways, and homes every day.
A challenge is posed. Two people who are sure they're going
after different sides of a 'win/loose' battle have every
ounce of energy poised. And everyone else leaps to take
spectator seats, reinforcing the strategizing and
maneuvering and battling.
As I watched I leaned over to the woman next to me and said
out of the corner of my mouth "They ought to go for broke!"
"What?"
While adrenaline fed the clenched fists, frozen arms and
straining necks at the front of the room, I said... well,
I'll get back to that in a second.
How many times a day do you get to watch a discussion turn
into a battle over who will win?
At one of my clients, a manufacturer of industrial
machinery, battle broke out between the head of Accounting
and the head of Sales. A string of emails flashed back and
forth for a month, each one longer, more heated and
accusatory. And the President of the company was cc'd on
the series after weeks of this going on.
"What do I do with this?" he asked me, tossing me page
after page of print.
"Change the conversation." I said.
"What?"
I'm asked that a lot.
"If you read the emails, each of them is insisting that
their stand is the company policy. Your head of Sales says
she struck a unique agreement with a new distributor in
order to open the market in the northeast for your product,
ahead of the competition. She's guaranteed them commission
payouts every 15 days. Your head of Accounting says payout
on that schedule is against company policy and she won't do
it. Are they both correct in their perspectives at this
moment?"
"Yes."
"Then change their conversation from competing to see who
can forcibly win an argument, to HOW might this situation
be addressed so that the company succeeds."
And the 3 of them sat down and in 6 minutes had ironed out
their solution.
Don't tell me "But Linda, that's obvious! It's common
sense!"
Life and business are about habits and adrenaline more
often than they're about common sense. I bet you could list
at least 4 disagreements you overheard, or even
participated in this past week.
Because no one started with the question "What could
success look like in this situation?" and they certainly
seldom pose the question with the other party at the table
to join in.
When you look at the clenched fists of arm wrestlers,
they're identical to the joined hands of agreement. The
only difference is the intention - to win over the other
person, or to create joint success.
How do I know? Well in addition to the tens, or is it
hundreds of times I've helped clients shift their
conversation and their results, I did it there and then in
the room.
"He said 200 bucks for getting the arm on the table. He
didn't put any limit on how many times. Work fast and work
together and everyone wins."
She grinned.
And at the 20-second mark both their arms were still in the
air.
The presenter grinned and said "Anyone else want to try?"
And I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the table and
headed for the front of the room.
As we sat ourselves down, he said "I want to up the ante
here." Before he went any further I asked "Is that the
total limitation - arm touches the table top within the 20
seconds?"
"Yep, but this time, it's for a 45-hour 15 week $2,997
course with me!"
I confess.
We both smirked. I looked her in the eye and with a faint
side-to-side wiggle of my head quietly said "Fast and easy!"
"Ready? Go!"
Remember... 15 emails for 4 weeks and lots of anger...
versus 6 minutes and a solution?
Well, $5,996 in under 3 seconds.
That's what we created before the rest of the room had a
chance to start rooting. Both of our arms were down on the
tabletop within the first 3 seconds, and then we relaxed
and easily did it another couple of times while looking up
at him as the 20 seconds expired.
Hands in the same position as the combatants, the
difference was in the intention.
What is your intention? What is the success you're focused
on creating?
----------------------------------------------------
© 2008 Linda Feinholz Management expert, consultant,
and coach Linda Feinholz is "Your High Payoff Catalyst" If
you're ready to focus on your High Payoff activities, boost
your professional and personal results and have more fun,
get her FREE audio mini-course "7 Quick & Simple Steps to
Increase Your Focus, Ease Your Effort & Accelerate Your
Results" and the free weekly newsletter The Spark! Visit
http://www.YourHighPayoffCatalyst.com
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